Showing posts with label Fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fiction. Show all posts

Monday, April 18, 2016

Is a glass of wine good for heart or?

WineA glass of wine is good for heart. We often hear it. I don’t know if it is true or not. Nevertheless, I think wine is very good for memory and this is my recent conclusion based on a very ‘scientific’ phone conversation.
My friend picked up his phone and asked loudly, “Hello, who is it?”
“Hey, it is Amrit.”
“Who?”His reply was as if he was talking with a totally unknown person.
“It is Amrit. Do you remember me? We met at Sanjay’s house.”
“Hey, I don’t remember any Amrit. I seriously do not. My memory is not very good man.” It seemed like he did not have any recollection of me. That was strange.
“I wanted to invite you for a party. I got some wine here.” I stated my reason for the call.
“Oh, yes. I vaguely remember you. Your voice is familiar.” Mention of the word ‘wine’ rejuvenated the brain cells responsible for decoding voice.
“Please do come. A friend gifted me this wine. He says it is very old.” I further added.
“I remember you. You worked with Nortel and now you work with Nokia.” An additional word ‘old’ fed a burst of oxygen to old memory cells and suddenly my work history is retrieved from the ‘Recycle Bin’ to the root directory.
“I am glad. Wine is probably of 1970s. I will text you my address.”
“I remember your house. You live in Rajiv’s neighborhood. What time shall I come?” The age of his brain cells is perhaps less than wine’s age, so they have to become active. His memory cells cleared like a stream of water cleans the dust from surface.
My friend arrived on time and his memory is completely restored. That proves my hypothesis.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Pretty Girl in a Party

(I wrote this script for local actors to perform a street play organized for a specific purpose)

Sunita stopped at the full length mirror in the lobby.  She checked her light red lipstick, her nail polish, touched up hair with her left hand, removed creases from her black sleeveless party dress and smiled at her athletic arms and slim waist. Almost ready to walk to the party, she stopped. She looked at herself again.

Sunil, her husband, said, “Oh come on. We are late Sunita.”

Ignoring him completely she took out a lipstick from her Gucci purse, “My lipstick is not right. Give me one second Sunil. “

Slightly annoyed yet happy with his wife Sunil said, “You look gorgeous. You have a perfect body. Almost like a model. Three hours in gym are helping you.”

Sunita turned around, moved fingers of her perfectly manicured hand on her husband’s cheek and smiled, “Mr. Hubby, Exercise is good for physical and mental health. Looking good is just a good side effect.”

Removing her hand from the cheek, waving his right hand index finger from top to bottom,   Sunil said almost sarcastically, “Oh I did not know you are wearing this… this ..this.. body hugging black dress for mental health. “

Not disturbed by his sarcasm, she held her husband’s face in her hands with love and almost laughingly said, “My dear OLD FASHIONED hubby, this is the trend. I am sure all my friends are wearing similar outfit. But DON’T you stare at them.”

Tilting his hand and holding back of head with his hand and raising his eyebrows but saying calm Sunil said, “There are all kind of men in the party. You know how they behave.”

Sunita could not resist laughing. “Oh-ho my dear JEALOUS husband! This is not INDIA. This is America. Women wear shorts here. Girls play beach volley ball in bikinis. Swimming pools are full of females in two piece swim suites.”

 Sunil stood still and suddenly became stern, “You can be serious sometimes and not ignore me.”

Holding his hand and continue to smile, she said with love, “My DEAREST Husband, you are such a wonderful, handsome, caring husband. I have all the reasons to be happy and enjoy. Now let us go inside”.

As they enter inside, their host Aisha waived with enthusiasm and hugged her. “Oh My God Sunita!! You look gorgeous. “

“Of course I am.” She replied and then held Aisha’s chin with her hand and said, “Because I have a gorgeous friend and because I have a disciplined gym partner.”

Sunil and Akash (Aisha’s husband) started talking on the side.

“Come on. Let me get you a drink”, Aisha started walking holding Sunita’s arm.

As they walked they ran into Sanjana and Suresh and another couple Rakesh and Sarita. Sunita had met fair skinned but extremely frail Sanjana and her pot belly balding husband Suresh in other parties though did not consider them very close.

Aisha was not sure so asked Sunita, “Hey you know Sanjana and Suresh. Don’t you.”

Sunita replied, “Yes, I have met them last time at your party before.”

Suresh’s eyes probed Sunita from top to bottom but Sunita ignored him. Sanjana and Suresh stepped forward. Sanjana hugged Sunita.

Sunita said hello to Suresh.

Instead of saying hello, Suresh moved forward and opened his arms and hugged her tightly. It was not a perfunctory hug. He squeezed her very close. His hand was on her bare shoulder moving from bare shoulder to bare arm to back.

Sunita was not expecting a physical contact with Suresh and he would not let her go. She trying pushing him but he was holding her tight. Suresh released her after 15 second which seemed like an eternity to her.

Suresh stepped back and laughed, looked at his wife and said, “Hey Sanjana, we should invite Sunita to our home.” Pointing his hand towards Sanjana, he continued, “You can take some tips for building good biceps.”

Sanjana was confused and did not know how to react. She made a strange noise from her nose and said, “Of course. We will invite them.”

Slightly angry and perturbed, Sunita tried to get away, “Hey Aisha, I need to get that drink. “

Suresh spoke loudly, “Sure, sure. I will get you a drink. What do you fancy? Akash has a wonderful collection.”

Without waiting for a reply, Suresh started walking to bar but Aisha waived at a server.

Sunita settled for a glass of wine while Suresh looked at the scotch as a thirsty pedestrian looks at the water in a desert. Suresh picked up the tallest glass of the scotch.

Sunita’s failed plan made her very quiet but she decided to be direct.

“Excuse me guys. Let me find Sunil”, Sunita said almost walking away from the group.

“Oh come on. Stay with us. Give us some fitness tips”, Suresh said and walked across to her side and put his right arm around her and pressing her right arm with his hand and while holding the glass in his left hand.

Sunita was red with anger. The guy was out of control.

While holding her arm around Sunita, Suresh started speaking with Rakesh, “Rakesh, look at her biceps. She has perfect arm muscles.”

For the first time Rakesh participated in the conversation, “Let us go Suresh. We will sit outside.  I can recommend a good trainer. He can help you build muscle.”

Suresh laughed loudly, “Oh come on. I have muscle too. A man’s real muscle is in his tool. I will show her”.

Fluid from the glass spilled on his pant.

Already angry Sunita lost her control at Suresh’s action and she took her wine glass and threw all the wine on his face at the same time and shouted, “Let me go….you moron. Don’t you know how to behave with women?” Sunita was angry, red face, red eyes and was almost in tears.

Suresh left her. There was dead silence in the room.  Pin drop silence. No one spoke for a minute.

But Suresh busted, “What do you think you are? Saali Behanji. Look at you. I meet a lot of girls like you in University. They all want me to be with me.”

To save the party, Aisha came forward, “Let us be calm guys. It is a misunderstanding.”

Sunil took Sunita in his arms, “Calm down, we can handle it without fighting.”

Sunita said, ”I want to go home. I cannot stay here.”

Aisha tried to stop, “Sunita, I am sorry. Suresh is not bad. He did not mean that. Don’t spoil your mood”

Sunita still crying, “I disagree with you. I cannot stay here any longer. Sorry.”

Walking out from the party, Sunita said, “Sunil, this guy Suresh is creepy.”

“You need to be careful”, Sunil replied

“How dare he grope me? It is not acceptable?”

“He was drunk. Ignore him.”

“No he was not drunk when he started.”

“You are responsible too.”

“What do you mean? I am responsible.”

 “I told you. I told you. You don’t know how to dress up.”

“What do you mean?”

“I told you not to wear this stupid sleeveless short black dress.”

Sunita sighed, “This is America. Everyone wears it.”

“I don’t want to argue with you right now. We will talk at home”

 

Dear Readers:-  I will leave it to readers to complete the play but got some questions.

1.     What went wrong here?

2.     Who all are wrong?

3.     Everyone will agree that Suresh’s behavior is totally not acceptable. But is Aisha right?

4.     Can a drink justify foul language?

5.     Could Rakesh have done something different? Is it okay to be a bystander to an unacceptable behavior?

6.     Is Sunita action of throwing wine on Suresh’s face justified?

7.     Is Sunil right about the Sunita’s dress?

Monday, October 21, 2013

Senior Politician needed for 2014 Indian Elections

Dear reader, I need some help. A leading Indian political party has asked me to articulate an ad for recruiting politicians for upcoming elections in 2014. I have come up with the following and I need your help to validate or change it.

Senior Politician needed for 2014 Indian Elections

Responsibilities

·        Contest and win at least one Lower House seat (Lok Sabha)

·        Organize election campaign and raise funds for elections

·        Party’s go-to person for collecting kickback (or bribe) and distributing it

·        Manage groups responsible for religion based riots

·        Coordinate rallies to disrupt law and order

·        Strategically plan meetings with partner parties to set price of MPs

·        Collaborate with the underworld to ensure party priority are met

·        Be an expert in keeping senior members of the party happy

·        Pretend to care about society and poor

Required qualifications and experience

·        Lie smoothly

·        Experience in directly and indirectly asking for cut

·        Able to cheat with conviction and without fear of god, government or law

·        Never allow anyone to awaken conscience

·        Experience in successful embezzlement of minimum 10 Lakh rupee

·        Able to handle firearms for party’s interest

·        Has proven to be the toughest ruffian and hoodlum of the city

·        Capable to operating accounts in Switzerland and other foreign countries

·        Understand Indian judicial system and has experience in getting acquittal

·        Able to operate from the prison in an unforeseen situation

Salary:  It is a commission based job and unlimited potential. India is a rich country with lots of tax and foreign aid. You will be part of the system to bag all this money.

Dear reader, feel free to add if missed any specific point and of course I am more than happy to delete any point that is not correct.

I cannot decide if this post is fiction or non-fiction.

Monday, October 31, 2011

I Am A Better Photographer

“Let us see who takes a better picture. You take my picture and I will take yours.” Ajay asked smilingly.
Ajay did not really give me a choice and started clicking and I reciprocated.
Comparing picture on the tiny three inch screen of his Nikon and my Canon digital SLR, Ajay declared, “I take better pictures.”
“Why do you say that?” I asked
“Look at the quality of pictures.”
“May be it is the camera. Let us use the same camera,” I proposed.
We took each other’s shot using the same camera.
Analyzing carefully Ajay declared, “Dude, I am a better photographer.”
Knowing Ajay photography virtuosity, I had no reason to question him. Trying to learn from him, I proposed a clever plan, “Why don’t we fix the settings and mount it on a tripod?”
Ajay happily agreed. We took picture of each other with the exact same settings, with the camera mounted on a tripod to remove any shake.
Gleefully Ajay gave the verdict, “I am a better photographer.”
“How is that possible? I did not touch the setting. Let us ask Sam for an unbiased opinion,” I protested.
Sam declared, “You guys look the same in the pictures.”
“See. With the same setting, what you do expect?” I said.
Ajay laughed, “I am a better photographer.”
“Why?”
Ajay said calmly with a chuckle, “It is simple. Your subject is handsome i.e. me. My model is dreadful you but I still managed to make you look like me. That is why.”
I could neither laugh nor scream and thought, “With friends like Ajay, I don’t need…..”
Readers: – Please help me to fill in the blanks.

















Monday, June 13, 2011

Darling I may lose…

Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Alone and completely engrossed reading a book on philosophy, Sam lost his concentration. Sam thought of ignoring the call. He needed to relax after a tiring weekend. But loud ringing tone of six cordless parallel phones would not stop and it began to irritate him. He could not find any of six phones in his large 4000 sq. feet house. Sam ran upstairs for the cordless in the bedroom but no phone there either. Suddenly the ringing stopped. House becomes silent again. But that was short lived. Somewhere in his big house, he heard a cell phone ring. It sounded like ringtone of his wife, Anita’s cell phone. He fetched her phone from a small purse tucked away in a big purse.

Sam pressed the green button, “Hello.”

It was Anita calling from her friend’s house, “Sam, have you seen my cell phone?”

Surprised by her question, “You are talking on your cell phone. You called your own number.”

Anita sounded relieved, “Thank god. I did not lose this one. I guess I left it at home.”

Knowing it was common for Anita to forget or lose her cell phone, Sam could not completely avoid sarcasm, “No comments.”

Anita continued, “But I need it now.”

Slightly perturbed, Sam asked, “You are at Amy’s house. Why do you need your cell phone there?”

“We are going to downtown Raleigh. So I need my phone with me.”

“But you are going with Amy and she has one. All of you don’t need to carry cell phone.”

Anita replied, “We are going in separate cars. So I need it for safety or just in case something goes wrong. Can you bring my phone to Amy’s house?”

Not willing to give up his book, Sam refused, “I cannot come now. You know I had a busy weekend. This is the only time I got to read and relax.”

“Can’t you spare 15 minutes for me.”

“I can’t today. Why don’t you come home to pick it?”

Anita tried another approach, “Remember, I drove to Greensboro for two hours to bring the duplicate car keys when you lost the original.”

“That was different. I was stranded.”

Anita turned to the well tried traditional approach, “Please Sam. I am always there when you need me. What will my friends think that my husband can’t drive for 15 minutes for me?”

Emotional blackmail worked and Sam agreed to be a delivery boy.

Just as he was about hang up, Anita added, “Please make sure you wear some good clothes.”

“Why? You are going to come outside. Aren’t you?”

Anita politely clarified, “Amy’s husband wants some help with his computer. It is kind of slow. I told him you are an expert. You can help.”

“It seems like my Sunday evening is ruined. Why did you offer without asking?”

“I thought you are coming anyway.”

Annoyed but accepting the circumstances, Sam changed, picked up Anita’s phone and drove down to Amy’s house. Trying to smile and pretending to be happy, he rang the doorbell.

The door opened with camera flashes, clicks and loud blast, “Happy Birthday Sam! Happy Birthday to you! ”

Confused, mesmerized and dazed Sam could not believe his good fortune. He did not remember his own birthday but all his friends and co-workers were there to greet him. Just after the cake, Anita handed his birthday gift, an iPad2 and a card. Along with the card, she gave him a hand written note on a small pink paper.

The note read, “Darling, I may lose phones. I may lose keys. But I never lose sight of the family.”

Dear Readers: - I will let you guess Sam’s reaction, fictional and non-fictional parts of the story.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Saint Valentine 2

(This is a sequel of my earlier work Saint Valentine: Villain Valentine  which was based on real incidents. If you have not already read, consider (do not have to) reading it before this story. Here is the link.)

14th Feb 2011. It was Valentine Day again. Running on his treadmill while watching The Early Show on Channel 5, Ajay heard his iPhone beeping with a reminder of Valentine Day. But Ajay did not need a reminder, he already knew about Valentine Day. How could he forget Valentine Day?

Determined to make up for the past, he was prepared to put effort, time and money to get the best possible Valentine Gift for his wife Anita.

As a distinguished cardiologist, he knew all about heart muscles, arteries & veins connecting to heart and its complex function of pumping blood to the body. Struggling to finalize the gift for Anita, today he wished he knew more about heart (or to be technically correct brain) of Venusians.

Diamond Ring! No. She already got a big diamond ring for her last birthday.

Gold Jewelry! No. Her preference is pure gold that is not possible in the USA.

Shoes! No. She likes to buy herself.

Apple Laptop! She would love it but not a romantic gift.

Perfume! No Way. Never!

A book! Good idea but again not romantic enough.

Right at that moment, a TV advertisement showed Red Roses. He knew his answer.

Yes. Red roses! Anita loves red roses. She loves to decorate the house with red colored fresh roses in different kinds of vases. She loves the fragrance and touch of roses. She loves to feel the roses. Convinced with the decision to get roses, he stopped treadmill and made a note on his iPhone though he knew he could never forget.

Returning home from the hospital, he stopped at shops and purchased the most beautiful red roses he had ever seen. Very happily, he presented the roses to Anita as soon as he entered the house.

Anita was pleasantly surprised. She was ecstatic. But this lasted only for a moment.

Suddenly Anita could not decide whether to scream or laugh at her husband. She did not know if to howl or hug her husband. She was angry yet delighted. She felt frustration and elation at the same time.

She smothered her mixed feelings and asked, “What is this?”

Happily Ajay replied, “Thought and effort. I got perfect red roses for you.”

Anita looked at him slightly exasperated and asked, “How about results? Are you sure about roses?”

Puzzled Ajay could not figure out any flaw in his perfect gift, “What is wrong? You don’t seem happy.”

Instead of Anita, Ajay’s daughter replied, “Dad, these are artificial roses. Mom hates plastic flowers.”

Dear Readers: - I will let you decide the fiction and non-fiction part of this story. Just a hint, I had dinner with Ajay last weekend.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Saint Valentine : Villain Valentine

“What is the date tomorrow?” My wife asked early in the morning.

Hoping to keep my morning trouble free, I recollected her birthday and wedding anniversary, “We have plans for your birthday next month and our wedding anniversary was last month.”

“Don't you watch TV?” She stated with sarcasm.

Luckily an advertisement with Valentine Day Sale interrupted the morning news. In my mind I cursed retailers for constantly broadcasting Valentine Day sales but managed a reply, “Oh Valentine Day! I know. I am not a big fan of Valentine Day. Let us start following our Eastern culture a bit.”

“Okay. FINE”

First ten days of married life teaches the real meaning of ‘FINE’ and I have been married for more than ten years. Ignoring ‘FINE’ can be fatal. I decided to pick a Valentine Day gift from the nearest mall after my daughter’s tennis.

At the Tennis Court, our family friend Ajay suggested that I pick up the same gift for his wife Anita and he could watch kids while I was at mall. I liked his idea of saving time and I purchased two identical Gucci Perfumes wrapped in red paper and handed one to Ajay. We had no idea what was coming up next.

On Valentine Day, we got together with Ajay, Anita and their kids at Cheese Cake Factory for dinner.

“Ajay got me a beautiful perfume for Valentine Day,” Anita started, looking unusually happy.

“I got perfume three years in row now,” my wife replied.

“I really like what Ajay got me and the best part is he thought about it. Thought and effort both! And I don't even know when he purchased,” Anita said cheerfully.

Ajay, pleased with his action added waving hand at me, “At tennis yesterday, I took care of kids and he went to the mall. That is when he purchased one for himself and one for me.”

Anita paused. The fork in her hand would not move. Radiance on her face turned into rage. Controlling her anger, she asked Ajay, “So you asked your friend to pick up a gift.”

Failing to notice the change in her tone, Ajay replied, “Yes. I asked him to pick up two perfumes instead of one.”

Anita continued, “So you did not decide the gift.”

“I paid for it and it was just convenient if he picked up,” Ajay said stressing the word paid.

“So you just paid for it. Nothing more. You return tomorrow,” Anita clearly annoyed but still hiding the anger.

“I thought you really liked it. What is wrong now?”

“Because you did not think about it,” she replied but unable to control anger now.

To diffuse the situation, my fiercely feminist wife could only come up with a cliché, “Men do not have common sense.”

Anita replied, “Common sense, they have no sense.”

Wife is always right. For a spur of moment, I lost my sanity and forgot this fundamental principle and said, “We just divided the tasks.”

“Oh buying a Valentine gift is a task now and that I had to remind you yesterday.”

While I think of a reply, my daughter and her friend (Ajay’s daughter) became my guardian angels, “Parents, please argue at home. People can hear us.”

It was perfect opportunity to undo my mistake, “Yes. I completely agree. It is an expensive restaurant. I want to enjoy food.”

“But dad, we have a new name for you,” my daughter said.

“What is that?”

“You are exact opposite of Saint Valentine. So your name should be Villain Valentine.”

Dear Readers: - I will let you guess the factual or fictional part of the story. But more importantly please comment your view on the moral of the story and what happened to perfume that Ajay bought (sorry paid).

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Grown Up

“Oh! Hi Dad. Are you are already in Paris?” My daughter asked as soon as she picked up the phone at home.

“No. I am still in the USA. Waiting for my flight to take off”, I responded while stretching my legs and looking outside from Boeing 777 plane’s window.

“Okay. Why did you call?”

“I just wanted to say bye and find out if you are doing okay”

“I am good and bye”, uncharacteristically she hurriedly replied indicating the end of conversation.

“Hey, what is wrong? Talk to me.”

“Dad, I am busy. I have homework to do. What do you want to talk anyway?”

“I am bored sitting in the plane”, I replied.

“Why don’t you read an eBook on your iPad?” She gave an idea.

“I don’t feel like right now. I will read later.”

“How about traffic game on iPad?” She proposed another solution.

“iPad is in the computer bag stored in the overhead compartment.”

“Solve a Sudoku puzzles in the airline magazine” knowing I am addicted to Sudoku, she came up with another answer.

“Good idea but my pens are also stored in the computer bag.”

“You have thousands of Hindi songs on your phone”, she suggested another alternative.

“No. I don’t want to put headphones right now.”

“Dad!” She said sounding very annoyed and exasperated. But within a second, I heard her giggling and laughing.

“Why are you laughing?” I asked.

“Nothing,” instantly she replied.

“What is it?” I insisted.

“I can’t tell you. You will not like it,” she replied still chuckling.

“It does not matter. May be I will like it. Tell me.”

“Promise, you will not be mad at me.”

“I promise.”

“I was going to say something that you always tell me. But I did not say it,” she said pensively stretching the point that she did not say.

“Spill it out please,” I became very curious to know.

“No. You will be mad at me,” she said, still not sure about my reaction.

“I promise. I will not be mad at you. Not even a tiny bit,” I reiterated calmly and affectionately.

She said softly and quickly, “I was going to say: Dad, stop making excuses and be creative. Find solutions like a grown-up.”

I will let readers guess my reaction.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Dinesh Builds a Shed – Concluding Part

Brief Summary of Part 1:- Dinesh found out that his friend started avoiding him because his friend’s wife expected her husband to keep up with Dinesh on household projects. Dinesh thought of a plan to rescue his friend. If you have not read the part 1, you can read the full story at Dinesh Builds a Shed (Full Story)

Concluding Part:-

I accepted Dinesh’s next dinner invitation. As usual very quickly, the conversation focused on Dinesh’s projects and this time it was his tile work at kitchen.
 “Dinesh really did a great job with tiles. My kitchen looks awesome now,” Dinesh’s wife Geeta started.
“Who picked up the colors?” Common friend Seema asked.
“Dinesh did. He has good sense of colors too. He also picked up the style and the size of tiles,” Geeta proudly replied.
“The back splash looks beautiful,” Rajesh joined.
“Of course, it looks beautiful. Dinesh spent several days matching the back splash with the kitchen cabinets,” Geeta continued.
“Back splash was not easy. I had to move the gas stove,” Dinesh clarified.
“The color combination is great and the finish is professional,” Kavita admired Dinesh’s work genuinely.
“He especially went to Wake Forest to get the right filling material for a smooth finish,” Geeta added, moving her hand on the back splash feeling the smoothness.
This discussion was worrisome but I could not do anything to stop it. Hiding my annoyance, different thoughts came to my mind “Is Dinesh helping or hurting me? Is he setting up my divorce to completely remove projects from my life?”
Suddenly I had a sigh of relief.
“How long did it take you to finish it?” Rajesh asked.
“Three weeks. But I may have to redo the sink area,” Dinesh replied.
“Why?”
“Town of Cary did not pass the building code as I missed the plumbing inspection. Plumbing pipe is not set right,” Dinesh stated matter-of-factly.
“So what are doing to do? Rajesh asked.
“Well. I have to remove all the tiles from the sink area. Change the direction of plumbing pipe. Call for the inspection and put the tiles back after approval,” Dinesh replied.
“Can you remove the tiles easily?” Kavita asked.
“Usually tiles break when you remove them,” Dinesh replied.
“But that is a very small area. You can handle it,” Seema said.
“It is a small area but matching the color can be a problem. If the supplier has the same batch, the color will match. If the batch is sold out, I will have to use a slightly different color,” Dinesh became too technical.
“How much it is going to cost you?” Rajesh asked.
“It will probably cost me additional 3000$. Sometimes it happens but I love working around the house,” Dinesh said without any emotions in his voice like relaying his address to an Interactive Voice Response machine.
“Dinesh does not care about money. It gives him sense of achievement and he is good at it,” Geeta continued “But my kitchen will be a mess again for another six weeks.”
I looked at Kavita’s face. Dinesh’s plan was working. She looked puzzled and lost in her own thoughts. Inspections, mess for six weeks and additional 3000$ seemed to concern her.
Driving back home, Kavita was unusually silent.
“Sometimes it is best to hire a professional. Dinesh is good but how could Geeta stand the mess in the kitchen for six weeks,” Kavita’s silence broke after sometime.
“Yes. I agree,” I replied without any emotions.
Dinesh’s plan worked. No more nagging to work around the house. Life was good but overlooked inspection did not seem right and I had to speak with Dinesh about it.
I called Dinesh and began with thanking, “Thanks dude. It is peace at home. I am glad you shared your negative experience. We are not really trained to do this kind of work.”
“Yes. I knew it was going to work,” Dinesh said.
“But one thing is bothering me. How can you miss inspection? How can you make such a blunder?”
Dinesh burst into laughter. People around me also could hear his loud laughter from the tiny speaker of my Blackberry. I had to move my Blackberry away from ear to keep my eardrum.
“Why are you laughing?” I asked
“Are you the only one who can write fiction?” I could imagine glee on his face.
“Oh man! So you fabricated a story to bring peace in my house,” I started laughing with him.
“And at Rajesh’s house,” Dinesh replied.
“What if Geeta tells Kavita?” I asked.
“Geeta thinks I have to redo,” Dinesh replied with confidence.
“Even Geeta!”
“Yes,” He confirmed.
“Geeta and Kavita will find out one day,” I pointed out a flaw in his plan.
“They might. But that is not important,” Dinesh replied
“Why do you think it is not important?” I was confused.
“The thought of mess and losing money has profound impact,” Dinesh continued, “As long as they keep thinking about losses, you are good. We have done enough to engrave the notion of committing serious errors if we perform the work ourselves.”
Dinesh kept laughing.
Convinced with his reasoning, I thought about logistics, “What are you going to say next time we meet?”
“I will say I hired a professional,” Dinesh had thought about that possibility.
“Smart but what if it does not work,” It was a statement without any substance.
“We will make up something new then. We are good at it,” Dinesh concluded.
I agreed with Dinesh but expressed my fears, “Kavita will be furious if she finds out that I lied.”
Dinesh had perfect answer, “Saying sorry always works with soft hearted wives.”
Simply speaking Dinesh’s sneaky scheme outsmarted me and I kept thinking, “With friends like Dinesh, I don’t need…” I will let reader fill in the blanks.

Author’s note: -
Dear Readers,
At one stage in my life, I tried to view human character in black or white. With experience in life, now I know that our makeup is complex with different shades and this story attempts to depict the same. We compete, compare and make excuses in several aspects of our lives. On the same time, the family and friends always look beyond trivial aspects and come together at difficult times to support and help each other. See my earlier story, ‘The Best Medicine’  that shows our actions at a difficult time.
 Some of my readers guessed possible outcomes that appeared ideal, but I remained honest and published the initially conceived idea.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Dinesh Builds a Shed

(Post updated with second part added at the end)

“Dinesh built a really good shed. The shed looks beautiful.” The first words my wife, Kavita, voiced as I turned on my car ignition to return home after Memorial Day cookout at Dinesh’s house.
“Yes. He is good at it. Hey Amy can you play some new songs from IPod. It is a long drive.” Not ready to encounter the inevitable, I looked for an escape.
“Sure dad. Do you have any preference?” Fond of Hindi songs, my fourteen years old daughter Amy quickly replied.
But Kavita interjected, “Dinesh has adapted good aspects of the American society. He mows yard, tiles, paints, changes carpet and maintains the whole house like all other American men.”
“Yes he does. Hey Amy, when are your EOG tests?”
“Dad, are you trying to change the topic?” Amy giggled.
“Yes. He is. He always changes difficult subjects,” Kavita replied before I could say anything.
“EOGs are more important Amy,” I kept trying.
“Why don't we talk about shed now and EOGs at home?” Kavita held her choice in stern tone.
“What is there to talk about?” I replied
“Why don't you admit Dinesh works a lot at home?”
“I admit.”
“Did you notice the windows and remarkable woodwork on the shed?”
“It took him three years to build it.” I stated a fact.
“You don't even start,” Kavita snapped back.
“Dinesh likes doing it.”
“What do you like? You do not lift a finger. We pay someone to mow the small yard we have,” Kavita said
“You know I cannot mow lawn because of allergies,” I made a feeble attempt.
“When is the last time you did a project at home?” Kavita became serious.
“I put shelves in all bedrooms and in the garage,” I reminded her something concrete.
“That was three years back.”
“Well, we don't need any more shelves. We have in all rooms now.”
“You can do something else,” Not willing to give up Kavita continued.
“Like what? We don't need to change anything in the house.”
“How about a shed just like Dinesh’s?” Kavita circled back to the shed.
Dinesh’s shed almost made me shed tears.
“What will we do with a shed?” I asked.
“We can store yard equipment and other tools,” Expert in home organization Kavita had an answer.
“But I have already sold my lawn mower and yard tools.” It was a true statement.
She thought for few moments.
“We should paint our plain master bathroom in two colors. It will look beautiful.”
Her ‘we’ meant ‘you’. Spending several weekends running around to hardware stores, buying brushes, rollers, tape, ladder, and painting four walls of a room that we use for shower and bath did not interest me.
“Let us call Jose. He is a very good painter. It will take me weeks and he can do in hours. I don't want to take away time from Amy’s activities,” I made my case.
“I can drive Amy around. You have plenty of spare time,” She replied.
Knowing she is a perfectionist and cannot stand mess, I made a stronger base, “I cannot make the edges straight. Bathroom will be a mess for several weeks.”
“We WILL paint the bathroom ourselves. We will use a sponge to make a creative design,” Her tone implied end of the discussion.
Ending the discussion was a good idea hoping she might forget all about it. Nevertheless, next visit to Dinesh would bring it all back. There was only one-way out and that was ‘diverge her attention and stay away from Dinesh’. To divert her attention I planned a trip to her brother’s house in Ohio for next weekend. However, we cannot be in Ohio every weekend.
On Dinesh’s next call for dinner, I had an excuse ready for him. I had planned movie, bowling and a visit to the art museum. After few weeks, oblivious to my crooked mind, Dinesh invited again.
I made an ill-prepared excuse, “Rajesh and Seema invited us today.”
With diverted attention and Dinesh not on horizon, I was happy with my triumphant effort of eliminating shed and painting discussions from my otherwise happily married life. My happiness was short lived.
Monday 11AM, Dinesh called on my cell phone. Surprised by an unexpected call on a weekday, I answered instantly, “What’s up Dinesh? Is everything OK?”
“Do you want to meet for lunch today?” Dinesh continued, “It is going to be like university days.”
Feeling happy meeting my school friend without the baggage of household project, I accepted the offer.
At lunch, always honest and frank Dinesh came to the point, “Why are you avoiding me?”
His first statement explained the lunch but how could he find out.
Concealing my discomfort, I replied, “What are you talking? We are at lunch together.”
“Rajesh and Seema were with us on Friday. They can’t be on two places.”
I was like a thief caught red handed. My face went white.
Looking at my blank face, Dinesh started laughing. When Dinesh laughs, his eyes and his entire facial muscles laugh. With his infectious laughter, Dinesh makes everyone around him laugh. Always using his laughter to put people at ease, he alleviated my embarrassment.
“Hey. We are friends for twenty years. So tell me honestly. What is wrong?” Dinesh asked sincerely.
“Visit to your house makes us fight,” It was best to be direct with Dinesh.
“Why?”
“I cannot keep up with you on household projects and Kavita expects me to.”
“Did you guys fight over a project?” Dinesh asked.
“We had a little tiff after Memorial Day cookout over your shed.”
“I got it. Sorry. But we cannot stop partying. We have to find a solution.”
“Like what?” I asked
“I got a plan. Just come for the next gathering and we will resolve your problem,” Dinesh said with confidence and started laughing again.


Concluding Part:-

I accepted Dinesh’s next dinner invitation. As usual very quickly, the conversation focused on Dinesh’s projects and this time it was his tile work at kitchen.
 “Dinesh really did a great job with tiles. My kitchen looks awesome now,” Dinesh’s wife Geeta started.
“Who picked up the colors?” Common friend Seema asked.
“Dinesh did. He has good sense of colors too. He also picked up the style and the size of tiles,” Geeta proudly replied.
“The back splash looks beautiful,” Rajesh joined.
“Of course, it looks beautiful. Dinesh spent several days matching the back splash with the kitchen cabinets,” Geeta continued.
“Back splash was not easy. I had to move the gas stove,” Dinesh clarified.
“The color combination is great and the finish is professional,” Kavita admired Dinesh’s work genuinely.
“He especially went to Wake Forest to get the right filling material for a smooth finish,” Geeta added, moving her hand on the back splash feeling the smoothness.
This discussion was worrisome but I could not do anything to stop it. Hiding my annoyance, different thoughts came to my mind “Is Dinesh helping or hurting me? Is he setting up my divorce to completely remove projects from my life?”
Suddenly I had a sigh of relief.
“How long did it take you to finish it?” Rajesh asked.
“Three weeks. But I may have to redo the sink area,” Dinesh replied.
“Why?”
“Town of Cary did not pass the building code as I missed the plumbing inspection. Plumbing pipe is not set right,” Dinesh stated matter-of-factly.
“So what are doing to do? Rajesh asked.
“Well. I have to remove all the tiles from the sink area. Change the direction of plumbing pipe. Call for inspection and put the tiles back after approval,” Dinesh replied.
“Can you remove the tiles easily?” Kavita asked.
“Usually tiles break when you remove them,” Dinesh replied.
“But that is a very small area. You can handle it,” Seema said.
“It is a small area but matching the color can be a problem. If the supplier has the same batch, the color will match. If the batch is sold out, I will have to use a slightly different color,” Dinesh became too technical.
“How much it is going to cost you?” Rajesh asked.
“It will probably cost me additional 3000$. Sometimes it happens but I love working around the house,” Dinesh said without any emotions in his voice like relaying his address to an Interactive Voice Response machine.
“Dinesh does not care about money. It gives him sense of achievement and he is good at it,” Geeta continued “But my kitchen will be a mess again for another six weeks.”
I looked at Kavita’s face. Dinesh’s plan was working. She looked puzzled and lost in her own thoughts. Inspections, mess for six weeks and additional 3000$ seemed to concern her.
Driving back home, Kavita was unusually silent.
“Sometimes it is best to hire a professional. Dinesh is good but how could Geeta stand the mess in the kitchen for six weeks,” Kavita’s silence broke after sometime.
“Yes. I agree,” I replied without any emotions.
Dinesh’s plan worked. No more nagging to work around the house. Life was good but overlooked inspection did not seem right and I had to speak with Dinesh about it.
I called Dinesh and began with thanking, “Thanks dude. It is peace at home. I am glad you shared your negative experience. We are not really trained to do this kind of work.”
“Yes. I knew it was going to work,” Dinesh said.
“But one thing is bothering me. How can you miss inspection? How can you make such a blunder?”
Dinesh burst into laughter. People around me also could hear his loud laughter from the tiny speaker of my Blackberry. I had to move my Blackberry away from ear to keep my eardrum.
“Why are you laughing?” I asked
“Are you the only one who can write fiction?” I could imagine glee on his face.
“Oh man! So you fabricated a story to bring peace in my house,” I started laughing with him.
“And at Rajesh’s house,” Dinesh replied.
“What if Geeta tells Kavita?” I asked.
“Geeta thinks I have to redo,” Dinesh replied with confidence.
“Even Geeta!”
“Yes,” He confirmed.
“Geeta and Kavita will find out one day,” I pointed out a flaw in his plan.
“They might. But that is not important,” Dinesh replied
“Why do you think it is not important?” I was confused.
“The thought of mess and losing money has profound impact,” Dinesh continued, “As long as they keep thinking about losses, you are good. We have done enough to engrave the notion of committing serious errors if we perform the work ourselves.”
Dinesh kept laughing.
Convinced with his reasoning, I thought about logistics, “What are you going to say next time we meet?”
“I will say I hired a professional,” Dinesh had thought about that possibility.
“Smart but what if it does not work,” It was a statement without any substance.
“We will make up something new then. We are good at it,” Dinesh concluded.
I agreed with Dinesh but expressed my fears, “Kavita will be furious if she finds out that I lied.”
Dinesh had perfect answer, “Saying sorry always works with soft hearted wives.”

Simply speaking Dinesh’s sneaky scheme outsmarted me and I kept thinking, “With friends like Dinesh, I don’t need…” I will let reader fill in the blanks.

Author’s note: -
Dear Readers,
At one stage in my life, I tried to view human character in black or white. With experience in life, now I know that our makeup is complex with different shades and this story attempts to depict the same. We compete, compare and make excuses in several aspects of our lives. On the same time, the family and friends always look beyond trivial aspects and come together at difficult times to support and help each other. See my earlier story, ‘The Best Medicine’ that shows our actions at a difficult time.
 Some of my readers guessed possible outcomes that appeared ideal, but I remained honest and published the initially conceived idea.